have you ever felt that the person closest to you, your loved one doesnt understand you at all?
in fact he/she is always bringing you down, making you feel so useless and demoralised.
well, if u ever feel that way, welcome to my club!
it sucks,totally. and i dont know how else to react when those words were smacked right down to my face. i would rather he/she slap me, it will not hurt as much. damn it.
things are wild now. sometimes i feel like i dont even know myself. when i look at myself in the mirror, i dont even know who the hell is the girl who looks back at me.
any medical officers kind enough to spare a few minutes and diagnose me? hehe.
bipolar, schizo, depression, whatever? haha.
well jokes aside.
the thing i'm trying to convey here is, im currently disappointed with this particular someone.
and i don't know what did i really do to make this someone mad at me.
the thing that i put myself into involves my future and what im planning to do or rather be.
of all people that matters to me, i was expecting, oh actually still am expecting is for that someone to understand and support my decisions cause its best for me.
not adding salt to the wound and bringing down my confidence and self-esteem further.
i failed before, i realised that. you really dont have to bother emphasising it and predicting that failure is gonna hit me again cause trust me, i made this decision without hesitation or reluctance or having to impress anyone or doing it for anyone's sake. its based on what i want.
and i dont fail all the time.
maybe you dont know me that well. but your judgements are way beyond my patience and it really leaves me gawking, my jaws literally dropped. you know what i will do if im at home? i will run all the way to my room and throw myself on my bed and wail and cry my heart out. yes, that dramatic.
i leave all this to God.
i really need to calm myself down and turn to HIM for help.
i badly need his guidance.
im drowning in my own thoughts and emotions.
i lost my way in paths of my own life.
im lost.
sidetrack:-
RIP MICHAEL JACKSON. YOU WERE ONE TRUE POP KING!
YOUR MUSIC WILL STILL LIVE.
Labels: bring me back to the right path ALLAH